Like a Vulcan, angry for the very first time (sing to the tune of Madonna's Virgin)

Star Date 13.9 May 2010

This is Captain's blog from Olenka Enterprise. She is a 23 year old ship that has set sail on a two year mission to leave the college life as we know it, explore strange new worlds in the Glendale part of the Arizona galaxy, tame wild civilizations between the ages of 10 and 14 and boldly go where no Ukrainian has gone before- A late night ASU class. Luckily, our journey aboard this starcraft is nearly over. We have encountered many challenges during this time in the vastness of space and doubt but tomorrow, (with the entire fleet still intact) we will have a moment of celebration as we land back safely on the familiar confines of planet Graduation. It is indeed a comforting feeling to know that in the next twenty four hours another chapter can be closed for this battleship as she docks in the ASU auditorium port and we proudly march in line to get our victory diplomas. Friends and families will be there to cheer us in victory and we will laugh at the once scary tales of research papers and five step ELD lesson plans. As captain I must preside over the proceedings and reflecting over the last two years I have decided to give an informal account of the struggles that this ship faced. Realizing how many times we had gone into battle, when the shields have been down and enemy vessels attacking our transportation bay I know that it has been only through luck, hard work and an amazing crew that we have made it this far.
Thanks are definitely in order.

Though this is no Oscar worthy speech, there are words of great gratitude that need to be relayed because without the ensigns and copilots and engineering staff, hell, without the entire crew this ship would have been down and out for the count a long time ago.

First, typical, I must thank my parents. They are solid. They have weathered photon rays (in the form of piercings) and grumpiness as well as ill health on the part of the Captain (common job hazard- germy aliens!) and have never failed to take over the deck or even visit captain's quarters when needed. Their unwavering stance in the line of fire has earned them purple hearts. Thank you for pushing me at the speed of warp five so I will one day arrive at the destination of destiny and fulfillment.

There has not been a sustainable or consistent sub-commander during these two years of journey. I appreciate all those who's applications I have reviewed but it seems like this ship needs no right hand man.The interview process was most certainly enjoyed with many of you and there did seem to be some potential in certain cases, however, I regret to inform you, no one has made the cut. That is not to say that there have not been lessons learned, mountains climbed and barriers overcome thanks to your brief stay in the Captain's quarters. In the end, there seem to be far too many flaws in the co-pilot system- the course may be plotted incorrectly or the Captain may be too emotionally involved in the mission to make positive choices for the crew and there just isn't enough time to train you properly for all of the duties you have to perform. So for now, and possibly for the remained of my time as Captain, I choose to fly alone.


Crew- Friends, Teachers, People I have interacted with at any point in time, you have all shared with me a beautiful part of yourself and I truly appreciate the interactions, conversations and smiles we have been able to exchange. Some I rarely see because they are working far below the deck, others are in my line of sight from dawn till night because we work the same shifts on the bridge. I have only become a better Captain and more capable of steering my vessel because you have chosen to give me a part of your time, intellect and positive energy. For all the hard work you have done for this mission, I salute you.

Aliens- You crazy wild creatures with exceptionalities like I have never seen before my voyage into space. It has been a true challenge to learn how you communicate, give peace offerings and try to instill in your stellar souls some of the knowledge I have brought from my planet. Some of the species I have encountered during my time have been hostile. They are also my favorite subjects. Unhoned aliens you must know that this journey of discovery has been all for your benefit. Hopefully you have now a piece of information that will help you further your technology, expand your career options and increase your lifespan. I have grown deeply invested in your civilizations and hope the the progress continues exponentially as I set my coordinates for another galaxy. Studying you has brought on stress but also stretched my boundaries as a person. You have been as much of a teacher to me as I have tried to be for you. Dearly beloved aliens- live long and prosper.

Roomie- thank you for putting up with my high tolerance for dirt and mess, and for listening to me while I let off steam after a long day on the bridge. You are a remarkable archeologist and I am glad that the dig sight you have discovered your second year has brought so much understanding about alien life into our humble home. You are the reason that sesame seed oil brings me thoughts of comfort and joy. Continue to do work on the alien planets with the same enthusiasm and tackle life challenges with the same brilliant mentality that has brought you to this point. <3

Dreamteam- It is only fitting to mention the special operatives that I have been training for the past two months. You are a ruthless bunch and I love you for it. Coaching you has been simply- awesome. I have never felt so influential and relied upon and I loved how hard you worked, and how much you were able to achieve. The lesson I learned, better late than never, was something that the dictators back on TFA have been saying all along- set the bar high. Motivate. and you WILL ACHIEVE. I want to adopt every last one of you when I am done with the high stakes galaxy exploring game.



I know tomorrow will be a good day because I have a perfectly ripe mango waiting for me in the holodeck. Goodnight.