WWTD?

Do you remember the WWJD craze? Everyone would wear a bracelet in a variety of bright hues that had WWJD etched in, reminding them to think through their choices and rationalize their decisions based on what Jesus would do?

I too look to a higher power when making hard decisions about life. Though my idol is a far cry from a religious figure he is now in his 50s and still rocking a six pack. The rational and level headedness with which my shepherd guides his tiny flock is the reason why his few followers are so devout. From an early age I have been conditioned to follow a thought process that mirrors one of my father, who happens to be the greatest man to have actually walked the earth.

SO what would Tato do? I think that question should be rephrased to – What has he already done?

My dad has many accomplishments that others would drool over and aspire to write on their resume. Though I mostly know about his “office” through yearly “take your daughter to work” days I know that his job is one that requires a lot of intellect (read: PhD) and reasoning power(read and cringe: math), and comes with the title of “Crack Analysis Specialist”. The man also works out during his lunch break after eating the lunch that my mom has been packing him for the past 20 years.

Outside of work he is also always busy with handyman projects and hobbies. Building a bed or installing marble counter tops is his idea of fun on a Saturday afternoon. Cooking has also become an increased interest to the delight of the taste buds and noses of the entire neighborhood. I think renaissance man would be the appropriate term to describe him.

I may have overlooked the minor fact, a tiny milestone in my development, that he had a huge role in undertaking—moving our family from Ukraine. A bold move that I believe, no…I know, changed the trajectory of my opportunities and pretty much redefined my existence in this world.

Bold move indeed. But it was not the first nor last. One thing that inspires while simultaneously scares me about my father is that he is able to take risks. Massive, bold and high stakes where there is a likelihood of massive failure. I remember as a young girl sitting on the couch and thinking why he bothered to do those things, why he wasn’t happy just living the life at a neutral pace. I think I even asked him how he could keep steady nerves while taking such large gambles. His reply was way over my head at that point but I think I somewhat understand it now… “so if I don’t then what…then I am just sitting and waiting and I will think back about what I could have done, at least this way I can think about how I tried”

Recently, I was reminded of my youthful thoughts when writing a letter asking to change my home stay. I had realized that I had been a person who makes the best of things within the confines of their situation, accepting things as they are and just working towards happiness inside the box. It wasn’t until that letter that I joined my father outside of the box, instead of making the situation work I was now the person who changes the situation completely. It felt strange yet very empowering.

I am thankful, grateful and forever in debt to him for his checkmate choices, using everything in his arsenal to play the game and secure the king. A parallel emotion that accompanies those kindhearted feelings is a hunger to have my own stab at it.

It meaning LIFE.

The most memorable words from my father are as follows “It is the children’s job to be better than the parents” this simple phrase has been the fuel behind my fire ever since it escaped from his lips. When I think about the opportunities he has given me; the priceless gifts of education, travel and understanding of multiple cultures I am sometimes left scratching my head about how I can actually surpass his accomplishments.
As a youngster I heard him tell stories of punching buckets of sand to work up calices on his hands so he could break boards in Karate. Then I became a black belt and state champ myself. I marveled at how he learned languages like Polish by simply reading books and I feel like I will never stop trying to speak in tongues or trying to keep the old ones afloat in my head. I watched him coach my brother’s roller hockey team and then felt the joys of coaching (and domination) myself as I lead my crazy 5th and 6th graders to the Championship softball game. His PhD is currently matched only by my masters but I am in no way done adding letters to my name. Because he made me run barefoot very damn morning of my elementary years I now make a conscious choice to work out and run to stay fit.

There are probably many more examples of what I have seen him do and then attempted to mimic in my own way. One thing that I will never be able to recreate, no matter how hard I work is a certain look that my father has. It is a distinguishing feature much like his height or his calf muscles or overly exposed abdomen that have been burned into my memory banks. However, unlike the characteristic I just mentioned it is not useful for spotting him from afar at the mall but it is a physical feature that for me defines who he is. My dad has a way of smiling with only his eyes that is the single most rewarding expression I have experienced. It is hard to describe because it is as simple and subtle as it is frequent. Little wrinkles- crows feet-erosions of the face appear around the eyes and they tell me that he knows more than he is letting on. I can’t help but smile when I see his eyes posed in that position as he holds back all other emotion from his face.

So what would Tato do? He would smile with his eyes and pick the next activity to master. Thus I must too trudge on and tackle increasing challenges until I have my own offspring to set an incredibly high bar for and smile with my eyes wishing them success.