I'm packing. Again. The constant packing, unpacking, repacking of my bags seems like a lifestyle now. I have been teaching high school English camps in 정읍 for the past two weekends and with a trip to Seoul thrown in the mix I have hardly been home longer than I needed to restock my bags with fresh clothes and play a game of UNO with my host family.
A reflection on the camps: Cooperative and project based learning is a skill that is innate and Korean school children would benefit from more creative ways to engage themselves in the study of English language. Engaging themselves, a possible synonym for "self-study" is an art form that they are still trying to master and if (err...I mean "once") they do Korea will be a big time player in the world. They need to hone their treacherous work ethic and expand it outside the confines of route memorization to create and manipulate ideas. If only there was a hagwan for imagination. Maybe in my naïve and nervous state as a first time teacher I picked 4th graders as my favorite but through experience I now believe that “the older the better.” I also no longer experience the butterflies and worry that consumed me as a first year teacher. Looking back on those rough weeks and months of my first semester as a teacher at Bici I remember how my insides churned at the thought of the problem students walking into class, how I despised lesson planning and seeking useful data for my students and how eagerly we all rushed out of the building on Friday afternoons to purge our memories of the past week with alcohol.
The story is so different on this side of the globe. I am eager to teach my lessons, I adore students and nothing that happens in the classroom has the potential to jeopardize my bowl movements. In simpler terms- teaching is a joy. In other words- I miss that feeling of panic. For some reason it has been instilled in my head that if my day to day tasks do not put on pressure, kick me out of my comfort zone and make me scramble a bit, I am not doing my best. This idea is simply illustrated in the case of the high school student in the English camp I taught two weekends ago who was sitting around while his partner was doing most of the work. After a round of gentle coaxing did not convince him that he should do his fare share I more strongly ENCOURAGED him to complete an entire portion by himself. Sure enough an hour later he had done a beautiful job on a poster but still held a grudge against me for another hour because I had pushed him off his butt to put forth effort and do some work. Maybe what I need is a bitchy Ms.Lenets to stroll up to me, tell me my life is too easy and put in front of me an ultimatum- I better get some serious work done or ELSE. The question now is, what on earth am I to do?
My first intention is to apply for a job in the Fulbright office. When I first heard of the possible job openings in the office I gasped “wow- I could NEVER be Mrs. Shim’s assistant” within a split second I answered myself “WAIT, why not?” I would never allow for myself to be written off this way by anyone else so I certainly wasn’t going to stand for my own brain thinking less of my abilities. I knew why I was thinking it too, the job would be more difficult, the hours longer and the vacation cut to a fraction what I enjoy now. Also, entering Fulbright with an arsenal of teaching experience gave me a lot of confidence which is actually the most important aspect of teaching—so entering a new arena with a new set of skills would be difficult. But that’s exactly what I crave.
My next few weeks will not be challenge free either. I am going to Jungwon again- returning to the marble palace to attain more Korean knowledge and interact with friends from the university. And practice for a marathon! Oh life, you just keep getting better.
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