First 4 weeks in the Land of Oz

It’s been 4 weeks since I left the states. I wanted to give myself a settling in period before I began writing my experiences so that first impressions could be vetted, a necessary action because things seemed a little too good to be true. The good news- they still are!

There is something wholesome and good natured about every aspect of my surrounding. First and foremost- the people. I have met the nuns- called Venerables as well as the volunteers and employees who work here and all of them have been kind and welcoming. I do not have a roommate, I originally anticipated having one, but the other international student is a nun and she cannot share a room with a layperson. One thing I really enjoy is watching people greet each other by pressing their palms together and saying “O Mi To Fu” as they pass by. It translates to blessing someone with Endless Light and Wisdom. Just imagine if each person you met you blessed with wishes of wellbeing and endless light…I think everyone would be happier. 

The place. I live at the lodge in a single bed room. Nothing too fancy but very cozy and comfortable. I have my own bathroom in suite  and there is a tea room and a meditation room down the hall. The complex is large and nested at the base of a hill. Sometimes Venerable Xian Xing and I climb the hill after breakfast to look out at the ocean and another nearby hill where a heard of sheep hangs out. We have seen a bunny before, no kangaroo to report however. There are two shrines, a museum, an art gallery and a reading room at the temple. There is also a meditation and Tai Chi room and a cafeteria. The institute I go to is a 4 minute walk down the street. The university is an architectural marvel. I feel like I am in a space ship when I walk around there and the meditation room looks out at the temple which is a nice meeting of east and west. It was designed to have the same color scheme as the temple but with a very modern shape so the blend of the two is very symbolic.

The food. Oh the wonderful wonderful carbs. Not a day goes by that I don’t have enormous platefuls of pasta, noodles or rice with a variety of fresh and steamed veggies. There are curries and mock meats (the only somewhat questionable part of the diet) and salads and we even had flan once! Meal times are regimented. Breakfast at 7:30 (this is immediately after 40 minutes of chanting and 20 minutes of Tai Chi) and if you get there even 3 minutes late all the good tater tots will be gone. Lunch is from 11:30 until 2pm but I usually try to get there at noon as to avoid the crowds. This meal varies the least from day to day because the majority of visitors eat in the cafeteria during this time and they provide more standard fare (rice or noodles) to appease the masses. Dinner is anything from communal hot pot (yay!) to lunch leftovers (less yay! but still delicious) and each meal is always served with some type of fruit. They have a green house in the back of the property as well as some fruit trees so oranges are fresh picked! 

We eat together at tables, sometimes in silence, and there is a blessing that is said before each meal. The blessing is one of loving kindness to all beings and it has become such a routine that I almost did it when I was sitting down to eat in Fiji. Same goes for eating with chop sticks, I often get comments about how I am the only Western person in the room and also usually the only one using chop sticks.

Class. So much to say. There were 15 people in my first class. There is a small cluster of people aged 30-ish (I consider myself part of this cohort) and then another group in the later 40s to 50s and rounding us off there was one sweet man who was retired and could school us all with his knowledge of Sutras. The class was a week long intensive course, starting at 9am and getting off at 5pm with a break for lunch. I learned 2 things: that most of what I had thought of to be “Buddhist” was wrong and that the more I understood the more mysteries there were to resolve. Before the course we were assigned with writing a one page response to a pre-class reading and I foolishly tried to argue that Buddhism refrains from mysticism and it is a rational religion that would not allow for a thing like Immaculate Conception into it’s teachings only to find out that Buddha was reportedly conceive when a small elephant walked into his mother’s right rib cage. My paper got a C. I also didn't do a great job on my citation. One thing that I really appreciated about the Intro to Buddhism class is that we did, just like the Buddha prescribed, practice as well as learn. So each day included a 10 to 30 minute mediation. The Triple Gem is the idea that the Buddha, the teachings (Dharma) and the monks and nuns doing the practice (Sangha) are the way to enlightenment. Thus, we must not only learn and discover, we must also practice these things through meditation. Lot’s more to say about this topic, but I will give it a rest for now. 

Explorations have been limited because I was studying. I did go up to Sydney for a few days and saw the famous Opera House and looked out at the Ocean from Shadi’s Manly Beach apartment! The weather has been pretty cold though, I now know why they make UGGS here! It was so cold in fact that I jetted off to warm up in Fiji. I wanted to get my PADI license because the perk of being in Australia is that it is so close to all of these exotic destination for diving! The diving experience was more challenging than I thought and I loathe taking my mask off 30ft below the surface. The cool part is that once I got over water jetting into my nostrils I saw a shark on my very first dive! A pretty big one about 20 ft away, just chillin. The good thing about Fiji is that since the sea life is so abundant the sharks have plenty of fish to feed on and so they don't go for humans. They called them tame sharks. I also saw a large sea turtle swimming along and it came up to us to give us a "Good'ay mate".

That's it for now. 

Namaste.

Day 6- 6 word story

Inspired by Hemingway's poem:

For sale; baby shoes, never worn.

I came up with this:

Mug shots soon replaced yearbook pictures.




 

Poem Day 2

Brick and mortar

Stick and stone

Clay and rock

Blood and bone

 

Why spend time to build

Prepare and fret

For things that haven’t

Happened yet?

Poem Day 1

In an effort to be more creative I'm going to try and write more this year. Here we go.

Her branches extend towards the sea
the wind does not forget
in every hour there are times
that haven't happened yet

The mist erupts in vibrant color
Spoils of passing tides
her branches struggle onward
right before his eyes

Torn between the waiting
and what was done before
her branches dip into the sea
For they can grow no more

It LOOKS like a Ukrainian duck, it WALKS like a Ukrainian duck but it doesn't TALK like a Ukrainian duck

You say "Goodbye" I say a word that sort of sounds like "Hello" but my accent tells you I'm probably not from around these parts was never a Beatles' hit, but it is the story of my life in Kiev. Much more here, than in my hometown of Lviv, it is as if every time I open my mouth a banner illuminates my forehead reading "banyak" which is a not so friendly word to describe those Ukrainians who have left the mother-country and thus developed different language patterns. Though this is a truth about me, it was not a pleasant revelation and I have spent the last 24-48 hours coming to terms with this fact. Here is my rant:

During my stay I have been called out on not being "from here", mostly by restaurant staff, on several distinct occasions. Once, the waiter after hearing my accent ridden Ukrainian, simply switched to English. Another girl, after taking my order without a hint of suspicion proceeded to ask later if I was going to be paying in "cash or credit" in English, as if I had not made attempts to use the local language.

Today, things got better. I ordered a beer and the young lad asked if I was from Kiev. I said no. He proceeded to tell me how pure my Ukrainian was and how he figured I was from the western sphere of the country. After a short discussion and the revelation that I had come all the way from America he jokingly said that he could not detect any Arizona-ish influence on my Ukrainian at all.

Though sometimes I do feel like I just bust out of a time capsule that makes me articulate more like an antique from yesterday year rather than a properly modernized slang slinging young lady and I can understand how that coupled with near Ukrainian speaking isolation has turned out a person who walks and looks like one of Ukraine's own, but as soon as I begin speaking ears strain to understand me. I am coming to terms with this.

I feel like I give it a solid go at speaking Ukrainian. Whatever accent or annotation oddness I throw down in my speech is not a shameful sign. Even though I no longer reside on the soil I was born on I continue to speak my mother tongue and most importantly come back with a desire to practice and improve my grasp of the language.

Furthermore, since when is diversity bad? Since when does an accent make one less appealing? Has anyone heard of British people? They are basically riding that accent train from dry humor boring town to conversation glory. Indisputably, their adorable accent is the engine on that locomotive.

But back to this semi-heart broken semi-Ukrainian girl… I was seriously saddened by the strange looks and language switching when I tried to speak Ukrainian. But each day is a new chapter and each interaction is a new beginning so today instead of shying away and switching to English when it was obvious that I was not a Kiev native I held on to the Ukrainian that I can deliver and used it to converse with several waiters. Never having to switch languages and their curiosity rather than disdain for the way I speak made it a very pleasant instead of uncomfortable experience.

The feeling of being understood, validated and accepted transcends any language and I really appreciate being treated like a unique rather than odd member of the Ukrainian speaking population.

Back from the abyss

OH MY GOD. It has been a disgustingly long time since I have written. I cannot begin to unravel the memories and experiences that I have had in the past 2 and a half months, it would be unlike pulling a string of yarn from a sweater until the knitting is left on a floor as a grim reminder of it's former shapely form. My memories of the past two months have woven themselves into a comfortable, thought not overly attractive sweater, and I just want to fold the sweater up and put it on a high shelf, just out of reach. (Too much sweater talk? I agree) But I do want to share some highlights...there have been so many times that I had a great post idea but no time to write it, so here is a list in a somewhat chronological order: 1. so much work! ahhh 2. I went to a beach, yay! But it rained- boo. 3. More work, wow, who would have thought? 4. London!!! 5. Gah, back to work. 6. Going to observe training, my work in action, kind of exciting...sad to see the street boys of Nakuru 7. Back at the office, pressure, stress! 8. Brittney is back, lets go on a tour of Kenya!! So much fun. 9. Olenka gets a weave. Exotic. 10. Back from training, in the office, hurry hurry finish! 11. Today- everything is done...amazing. I got to see the beautiful side of Kenya. It is a green wonderland. The towns look a lot alike. The matatus were pretty nice, though our last leg was a bit of a hassle. It does not, by any means feel like Christmas. I think in recent years the holiday has lost some meaning for me, but I do miss friends and family. We had a lovely party at my bosses house that included White Elephant gifts, I gave away leftover parts of my weave and got a stack of africa books on top of a pretty woven basket. I stuffed myself on cookies and brownies and a lot of wine. In other breaking news---Training is over, the most stressful few months have come to an end, new school managers will be leading their own academies in January. Unreal. After all the effort, the pressure, stress and deadlines I am exhausted and sleepy and cannot wait to spend some time basking in the sun tomorrow. Peace and love Olenka

My life right now.

Well, as I begin writing it is 9:20 pm on a Friday. I just worked from home for at least 12 hours straight. I even ate brreakfast and lunch at my desk like a good woker bee. I finished 6 hour long powerpoint presentations as well as an assessment and answer key. I feel good about my progress today. I have also allowed myself two rather full glasses of wine. I made myself a delicious and somewhat healthy dinner and I have eaten two heaping helpings. I also feel a little bit like I did the first year of TFA. Somewhat lost in a cloud of doubt about my ability to actually do this. I know what I am good at, taking notes- studying said notes and regurgitating them on paper. Thats why I loved college. It was easy. Nothing was actually applied to the real world. It is pretty scary when the CEO of the company you work for turns to you in a meeting and asks you a question and whatever you answer will change the policy. Thats a lot of power I never realized how much weight a word could have. I like the idea of being able to change the world but at 24 I dont know if I have enough knowledge/experience for a mere utterance of mine to do much good, much less change policy, schedules, training modules and the like. This job that I currently hold is taking me back to the years that I would rather soon forget. A time of internal turmoil, disspointment and a feeling like I want not good. NOT that I wasn't the best at something, but that I was not even GOOD at something. I wish to feel the same level of confidence in my abilites when I was first stepping into the Fulbright program. I was too cocky but at least I knew that wherever they put me and whatever they had me teach I could do, and do it well. I have gone from swimming laps in Korea to barely keeping myself from drowning in Kenya. After almost 2 months of being in hereI feel like I understand....it. I have met some really cool people at my workplace and they stop by to say hello to me each day, even though I rarely return the favor. I have found the people here to have a lot of flavor, a lot of zest and spark and I really like my Kenyan co-workers though I really wonder why they try to befriend a deer in the headlights girl who is furiously typing away at her computer trying to meet impossibly set deadlines. As the rush of deadlines comes and goes and I do not die from the long night or work and the stress of constant changes to the forms that I attempt to make sense out of I am comforted by a few things. First, just like with the TFA nightmare I know that this too shall pass. One day I will look back and think- WHY oh WHY did I think making 12 powerpoints to train new school managers on forms that change as often as my underware (daily, thank you very much) in a span of 2 days was a big deal. Second, I will realize that the impact I made over the course of my stay was greater than the sacrifice of staying in a few weekends and having to tell my boyfriend that he should not come up to see me on the weekend. OH yeah, amazing as it is, I actually am managing to keep a somewhat decent relationship in the works as well. He is british, a captain in the army and 6 ft 2in tall. I have plans to visit him in 4 short weeks and that is the light at the end of my deadlines tunnel. IN short- Life is harder than it was before, but not the hardest it has ever been. I am grateful for every second. Sincerely Olenka