Gradual release of responsibility

So, I taught my first week of classes.
Korean kids are awesome. I teach 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. I am a hardass on the kids from day one. I assigned homework and told them I expect 80% mastery on the end of year assessments and on the quizzes we will have every 2 weeks. I gave a pre-assessment and have leveled them into high, middle and low groups (for the second lesson in each unit I will be giving them work based on their levels since some students are near fluent from living abroad and others do not know the alphabet). They also know better than to uncross their arms from the "active listening" position that I have them sit in whenever I am talking at the front of class. My co-teacher expressed concern over a few of the classes because of their notoriously poor behavior, so I was especially strict with them, making a student who talked out stand in the back of the room with his hands above his head. Don't hate, it is the Korean way.

Besides the fact that I scare the children I also feel so much love from them. At the end of each lesson they line up and give me a high five, handshake or a hug and say goodbye. I find that the tougher I am on the class the more hugs I get, even some of the boys are not shy about giving me a huge smile/hug combo. I love teaching.

Around the school I also get invited to tea time and weekend trips with different groups of teachers. I just taught my host sister the word "boob" bc the 3 year old was squeezing mine and yelling the Korean name "cheechee". Speaking of the little monster, yesterday she rammed me with a shopping cart and the day before she was hitting me in my bed and screaming. I really cannot handle young children. At first I was about to write an email asking to have my homestay switched rather that put up with this blatantly apathetic mom who let her daughter do whatever she wanted. Instead, after some deliberation, I decided to make the best of it and try to bond with the little monster instead. Bc if I can't cut it with someone else's 3 year old, I probably shouldn't have my own.

My host mom is great but worries a lot about me. She finally let me take the bus downtown by myself today. It was great. Then she had my sister call to make sure I was fine. Then she offered to pick me up. Working on gradual release of responsibility to both my students and host parents.

Today I am going to a body painting festival. I will escorted by my 8 year old host sister. Should be fun. I just finished putting makeup on the 3 year old, she looks like one of those toddlers in tiaras. Hooker children can be found wherever you go in this crazy world I guess. <3

Pizza Kimchi mogoyo

Sorry it has been forever and a day.
In the past weeks I have fasted, traveled to Seoul and had a blast, visited 3 ft into North Korea, graduated from my Korean classes with 2 B s and 2 C pluses and co-taught a workshop on behavior management. Those were all very exciting times at Jungwon University, but the talent show which went into the best night of binge drinking seems light years ago in comparison to the 3 days I have spent in my homestay.
Yes, thats right, I live with a Korean family, the dynamics of which are quite adorable yet different from the American lifestyle I have been living thus far.
First off, the mom is an amazingly hard working little woman who loves foreigners but speaks almost no english. We did have a lovely convo (whilst sipping on some beers endorsed by my favorite band- BigBang) using her pocket dictionary and my cell phone. She also took me to Costco where I stupidly spent a fortune and now have to wait a month before i buy anything. :( o well, they family got me a bike yesterday from the dad's office and in the evening we went on our usual walk ( I think they really took to heart what I said about loving exercise because we have not missed a family walk yet) and I raced my two young sisters around the playground. The 8 year old is my window into the world, she lets me know what is happening and her mom is always calling her over to translate. The 3 year old, Kiryang, is a menace and she is always either eating or playing with water and making a mess. I think the terrible twos have developed into terror threes because she runs the house with her screaming and apparently it is ok for her to push me off furniture. She is adorable though so life may give her a pass for her poor attitude. Discipline is the house is nonexistent and the poor mother does clean up a lot of spills and messes that the kids make throughout the day. They are quite happy though and get their fill of anything, be it icecream, fruit, or books. The house has a children's library that bici north should envy and this includes both english and Korean books. You can tell that the parents are dedicated to educating their children and giving them everything. Which brings me to the dad, he is so little and cute. He bows to me in the morning and then thats the majority of interaction that we have for the rest of the day. I hope that I can coax him to learn a little english so that I can at least ask him how his day was and we will not have to play charades with each other for the next year.
There is much more to say and stories to tell, but I time is running out and I need to go to a mountain and meditate with my fam.
Last note, I went to grandma's birthday celebration yesterday and I love love love the grandpa, he speaks english and is so sweet, I cannot wait until the CHusak (Korean THanksgiving) so I can see him again bc the celebration is at his house. <3 br="">
peace out for now lovers.

CACing it.

So we have to do weekly reflections about our cultural adjustment, here is mine for this week. It is very deep, so be weary.


1. What preparations do you feel you still have to make for Departure Day and your life after Orientation?
Well, this is all on me, but I do not feel super confident in my ability to speak all of the Korean greetings to my principal and co-teacher. But I know that a smile goes a long way and it will be alright if I am not 100% perfect right away. I am really excited to be a part of a school community again. Having taught for two years I know the important role that all the teacher play in making sure that the school environment is a positive and productive one so I am incredibly thrilled. It had been a little hard this week because my school (technically ex-school... but I am having a hard time letting go) started this Monday and the teachers that I was close with have written to me to say that they miss my presence but that the school is doing really well and even mentioned some of my students. After only a week they have a lot of amusing stories to share and it seems like the world did not collapse at bici north just because I left. Likewise, the world will not end if something unfavorable occurs during my initial meeting with the principal. However, i do want to make a positive first impression and will persistently study the notes that we were given in order to make that a reality.


2. What is your biggest fear about your first week at your placement? What are you most looking forward to during your first week at your placement?

I am most looking forward and also dreading at the same time having to huddle around a dictionary with my host family in order to communicate. I think it will be a great learning curve bc I will finally be away from all my friends and most English speakers, however, it will be tough to have myself muted for a short period of time until I have the vocabulary and knowledge to speak to my host family without needed assistance. I really really hope that my host family has children. I have a younger brother and though he has not been very little for a very long time I do enjoy having brother-sister interactions and value that closeness. Ideally I will get to recreate parts of that relationship with my host siblings. On another note, I am also looking forward to getting lost, often. It seems like a few short weeks ago our own home here in Geosan was uncharted territory. If I can now get to kimbap heaven with my eyes closed it means that a change of scenery is needed. Exploration is very exciting and I cannot wait to take a crack at a big city.

Placements and Plateaus

So the big day came and went, we got our placements for the next year. I will be in the city of Daegu, it depends on who you ask, but it is either the 3rd or 4th largest city in Korea. Everyone will agree however, that it is very hot there, most of the people giving me this advice have never been to that city, but the idea in Korea is that everything should be known for something, and Daegu picked the lucky adjective of HOT.
It was a mad rush to the computer once we were placed to see what the city looks like, figure out who is living close to us and also see if there is an easy, quick and affordable way to leave our placements when we hear the Seoul party scene calling our name. The good news about my city is that it is huge and most people who live there do not need to escape to Seoul to experience a good time. The downside of it being that it is anywhere from 3 to 4 hours away from Seoul which makes the trip a lengthy one.
It was almost necessary for me to get my placement because in a way it is the light at the end of the tunnel of Orientation. Do not get me wrong, I am ever so grateful that I get to take Korean classes and be presented with workshops to increase my abilities as the English Language teacher at my school...BUT I am getting restless and very antsy to get out of the lovely safe cocoon that has been weaved for us at Fulbright. As much as I love the people here it feels like Little America has sprung up at Jungwon University and instead of getting the mad rush of overwhelmed excitement and having to make it with the skill-set that I arrived with I have been given even more skills through the training and I really really want to start applying them...NOW!
When I taught at Camp Fulbright I felt really re-energized. Now, after the energy of the students has left I feel as if I have slumped off into an abyss of routine and the challenge is no longer there. I am going to Chunju tomorrow to see Inception and I hope that not having native speaks around me it will allow me to have a chance to fend for myself a little and practice the Korea I have been learning oh so diligently.
Lastly, I had an icecream/shaved ice/ red bean dessert today and I just have to say- where are my snikers and recees hiding?? I need processed sugar sooooo badly. It is indeed interesting how even the most authentic attempt to recreate a snikers- called a Atlas bar, or it's cousin the Ghana are no where near the perfection that appears when I unwrap that crisp brown snikers bar. Sigh.

My whole textbook is written in KOREAN...ugh!

So here is the thing...Korean is hard to learn. Sitting in the clasroom for 4 hours a day my confidence had much pretty much shattered. However, I went to Seoul this weekend. YES I partied all night, YES I went up and danced on stage, YES I had an amazing time and a SURPRISING YES to understanding things I had learned in contextual situations. Example: we had been learnig about money and having basic conversations on how to ask for the check at a restaurant. We had Koreans with us who were fluent in the language but I could comprehend things as they were talking to the waiter. Another amazing moment- I made up my very own sentence, something that would have taken a panic attack and a lot of coaxing from the teacher to complete in class. Moral of the story: Korean is hard but I know more than I give myself credit for. Once I get to my homestay I will probably find myself more confident and speaking more freely than I do in class.
Hmmm, other important updates: Body image, as well as first impressions are crucial in Korea. When in Seoul, I saw very many people who had plastic surgery to look a certain way and even spotten men and women who were sporting white makeup. The lighter the skin tone- the better I guess. It is a little un-nerving though that my host family will be openly critisizing me for my weight and at the same time telling me to eat more. These types of contradictions are frequent in society- you have to wear makeup, but not too much, it isn't ok to bear your shoulders but your skirt barely has to exist. Dieting and food restrictions seem to be common, but girls will never want to exercise.
Lastly, I wanted to remember and reflect on a year ago. It seems like every year I think "oh boy, I was so silly to be thinking this or doing that" and wondering when I will finally be mature enough to look back a year and not have to raise my eyebrows in disapproval of the choices and thought patterns I was having at that time. I doubt that a day like that will ever come, and really thinking about it now I feel as if it is better that it never does, because that would mean that I had hit a plateau in development. To start off, I had bleached my hair in an attempt to see if blondes had more fun (Id have to say no and red is still the way to go). I had also gone through an interesting boy phase and I was not being kind to myself or most people around me. The best memories however stem around the first days of school during my second year at BICI north. Coming back, knowing what I was facing with my challenging students, and then hitting the problems head on made me feel great. Like I finally had enough confidence in my abilities to stop taking the backseat and take over. I remember the first year teachers (now stellar educators in their own right who I miss just a little bit!) overwhelmed and panic stricken. True fear is having 13 unruly 7th and 8th graders spitting game at you at the same time as chucking a used condom at your 16,000 dollar smartboard. Oh the glory days. The baton has been passed once again and the second years get to kick back and watch as the new teachers attempt classroom management and develop their teacher personas. A part of me wishes I could be in on that school culture once again. Give advice and listen to horror stories as well as cheer on the newcomers. But it is best to let that part of my life stay in the past and look forward to being a newbie once again when I go to my Korean school, bright eyed and bushy tailed the cycle begins again!

Thank You TFA

So I never thought I would say this, but TFA has really prepared me for life. Being in South Korea and teaching students English through the Camp on Campus has allowed me to sit back, reflect on the past two years and really appreciate the training I was given. At the beginning of TFA I was the rebel who refused to do formal assessments. I was never a true believer of the system, I hated giving tests and for some reason it did not sink in until long after institute that I need to know what students got out of my lessons. I hated tracking, and never fully did it, so by TFA standards I was a slacker. Interestingly enough, having a fresh start at teaching here has given me another chance to use the tools that I was given during those ungodly Saturday trainings. Even more surprising is that the methods that are being presented here are game based and more fun, the makings of a cool teacher in the states, but they seem flat out ineffective and I have still not grasped why we have to act and amuse our students instead of teaching them.
I cannot even explain how uncomfortable it makes me to try and attempt this style of teaching. I don't see these as a means to get results. I am frustrated because it feels like there is no drive, that the fuel that runs all corps members to end educational inequality is not compatible with the "Fun English Conversation Teacher" prototype they are building. I feel too stern and rigid, as if the methods that I have seen work in my classroom are boring and too controlled. Even the fact that I demand respect and have a firm grasp on discipline is seen as a negative and is seen as a reflection of my ice queen persona.
However, seeing the two systems, two vastly different approaches, I think that TFA really has it right. By the end of my second lesson I was back to being the teacher that I want to be. I have control, I teach direct objectives and when they perform well I praise the students. In my opinion, teaching should be clean of noise and chaos and students should be motivated by personal growth rather than candy or stickers. I can be flexible, throw in a game or two, but I refuse to lose control and let anything slip past me because I am not being true to myself. I want to have my students attain 80% mastery on their end of year English exams. TFA, thank you, I guess I needed to see the non-example in order to realize what I great asset you really were for building me as a teacher. I may come to find out after my stint in Korea is over that games would have been the better thing to do all along, just as I didn't believe in assessments two years ago.

I did TKD today!!!!

Nostalgia. That is the only way to describe the feelings of putting on a crisp TaeKwonDo uniform, tying a belt around your waist and then kiaping with all your might. It was eerie how familiar all of the commands sounded, almost like I didn't take a 6 year hiatus from probably the most amazing sport known to man. The class was large and the pacing very slow, but I was glowing. My body responded automatically, took time to pause, and knew when to strike and I even remembered how to breath. Im on cloud nine. :)