Month 3...

every word

every word i feel for you

love songs do speak my thoughts

a quest i’ve had to search for you

and I just connected the dots

no doubts, no tears, fear disappears

when my hands do reach your chest

my certainty, as i speak loud and clear

is incredible to express

for miles and miles i’ve traveled

without you by my side

now each second you are near me

my heart, it beats with pride

so may the mighty ocean

unleash salt water in our eyes

we’ll wipe our faces and unwavering

look up at stormy skies

when you speak you’re building

a house ill call my home

and i will always be with you

no matter how far we roam

we’ll live a thousand lifetimes

with each and every blink

and ill love you more each second

than you could hope or think

every word i feel for you

love songs do speak my thoughts

a quest i’ve had to search for you

and I just connected the dots

Two months in the land down under...

The honeymoon period between me and Australia come to an end over the past 3 weeks. I'm not kicking her out of bed by any means, but the novelty of being in a new place has worn off and I had to remind myself that marching around with a group on nuns is NOT normal.

Highlights:

Cabin Fever
  This one hit me hard and fast one weekday afternoon. I had been cooped up writing papers, reading and doing typical temple things when it dawned on me that I hadn't been my full self in a while.
By this I mean that as a human being with a range of emotions I felt like the solitude within which I was conducting my studies didn't let me get my weird on, a part of daily life I truly cherish. Whether it was trying to get Kevin to sing the National Anthem with me and Nguyen at work, waking up next to Katrina after staying up past 9pm due to our sugary cupcake intake or going to a poetry slam with Kamelya and Ryan only to try our hand at it in the privacy of our judge-free abodes, I had quite a community to explore life with in LA...and those are just examples of people who's name start with a K!

   I quickly remedied the situation with Facebook phone calls to friends so I could word vomit onto my dearly beloved. The frustrating thing is that I am tired of the pixel images; non- moving, non-breathing, non-responsive. This highlighted my reliance on non-verbal cues to read a person as I talk with them and really experience a conversation in 3D. A long term solution of course is to form strong bonds with people here and there are certainly some contenders! I ventured to Sydney to get some real person contact with people. It was great! I walked the Bondi to Coogee trail with a German friend I met in Fiji. We did a little sprechen auf Deutsch and grabbed food. He also got a beer while I drank a delicious sparkling water, my first experience "going out" while not consuming alcohol in Sydney. My body has already formed a new habit of not drinking, so I knew that wasn't an issue but I had reservations about hanging out at a bar but not partaking and how that would effect the mood, conversation, etc. I'm happy to report that I was still hilarious and no one was thrown off by my lack of intoxication. Later that evening I hung out with Shadie at her beautiful place on Manly Beach. Conversation flowed between rehashing events from the past month and planning future adventures. Also worth a mention, big props were given to TFA for setting us up in the world. The following morning I met up with British girl who I also met in Fiji and we had a lovely brunch next to the Opera House. Then, we explored the Botanical Gardens and went into my favorite Art Museum. After a scrumptious pumpkin quesadilla I headed back to the temple in good spirits.


Class
   My second class took place over two weekends and it was much smaller in size than the first one I had taken. Some of the classes are "one offs" that anyone can take and others are more specialized for each major and have pre-requisites. Thus, the Wellness through Leisure and Recreation was more tailored to people who are going for the full masters. The class was also more practice based instead of content heavy. We practiced Tai Chi and meditation and I even got to lead a meditation session, complete with the meditation bell borrowed from the temple, very exciting! My presentation was about deep sea scuba divers and the psychological impact the sport has on them. I learned a lot about the sport as well as the reasons for why people take on extreme risks in the name of fun, some self reflection upon this topic was also required.

Kids
   One of the best parts of my week is going to schools on Wednesday and Thursday mornings to teach kids Buddhism with Venerable Chun (aka Nun or Reverend). She lets me have full control of the class and only directs me about what topics to cover. Through these trips I realized how much I love (and certainly missed) teaching. When I was a bright eyed and bushy tailed 21 year old in charge of my own classroom I didn't care for lesson planning nor did I enjoy having to behavior manage. I am clearly at a different point in my life because typing out page long instructions gives me joy, I love to set procedures and practice them until the kids become well behaved little Buddhas and I plan out curriculum in utter bliss. Nothing beats actually being live in front of the classroom though and watching those little brains work. It's funny how quickly I tapped into that same feeling that I had when I was coaching the dream team with Lianne (there should be a post about it somewhere, so so many years ago) or the excellent 6th grade class I had in Korea that was the best thing ever ever ever (pretty sure I wrote them an open love letter way back in the day as well).

The other benefit is that I get to discuss the topics with the nun and get more clarification and insight into each item we cover so my learning is also extended. I'm truly bummed that next week is the last time I have class and then they go on break and my hectic schedule of marathon classes and 10 day meditation retreats begins in October.


Other:
All the nuns went to a conference in Taiwan and so my daily meditation in the meditation hall as well as early morning Tai Chi is on temporary hiatus. I was able to borrow some 2kg weights from a classmate and now make my daily walks around the lotus pond while doing various arm exercises. I sometimes wear shorts (scandalous) and the tourist almost always stare but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do...

Namaste

First 4 weeks in the Land of Oz

It’s been 4 weeks since I left the states. I wanted to give myself a settling in period before I began writing my experiences so that first impressions could be vetted, a necessary action because things seemed a little too good to be true. The good news- they still are!

There is something wholesome and good natured about every aspect of my surrounding. First and foremost- the people. I have met the nuns- called Venerables as well as the volunteers and employees who work here and all of them have been kind and welcoming. I do not have a roommate, I originally anticipated having one, but the other international student is a nun and she cannot share a room with a layperson. One thing I really enjoy is watching people greet each other by pressing their palms together and saying “O Mi To Fu” as they pass by. It translates to blessing someone with Endless Light and Wisdom. Just imagine if each person you met you blessed with wishes of wellbeing and endless light…I think everyone would be happier. 

The place. I live at the lodge in a single bed room. Nothing too fancy but very cozy and comfortable. I have my own bathroom in suite  and there is a tea room and a meditation room down the hall. The complex is large and nested at the base of a hill. Sometimes Venerable Xian Xing and I climb the hill after breakfast to look out at the ocean and another nearby hill where a heard of sheep hangs out. We have seen a bunny before, no kangaroo to report however. There are two shrines, a museum, an art gallery and a reading room at the temple. There is also a meditation and Tai Chi room and a cafeteria. The institute I go to is a 4 minute walk down the street. The university is an architectural marvel. I feel like I am in a space ship when I walk around there and the meditation room looks out at the temple which is a nice meeting of east and west. It was designed to have the same color scheme as the temple but with a very modern shape so the blend of the two is very symbolic.

The food. Oh the wonderful wonderful carbs. Not a day goes by that I don’t have enormous platefuls of pasta, noodles or rice with a variety of fresh and steamed veggies. There are curries and mock meats (the only somewhat questionable part of the diet) and salads and we even had flan once! Meal times are regimented. Breakfast at 7:30 (this is immediately after 40 minutes of chanting and 20 minutes of Tai Chi) and if you get there even 3 minutes late all the good tater tots will be gone. Lunch is from 11:30 until 2pm but I usually try to get there at noon as to avoid the crowds. This meal varies the least from day to day because the majority of visitors eat in the cafeteria during this time and they provide more standard fare (rice or noodles) to appease the masses. Dinner is anything from communal hot pot (yay!) to lunch leftovers (less yay! but still delicious) and each meal is always served with some type of fruit. They have a green house in the back of the property as well as some fruit trees so oranges are fresh picked! 

We eat together at tables, sometimes in silence, and there is a blessing that is said before each meal. The blessing is one of loving kindness to all beings and it has become such a routine that I almost did it when I was sitting down to eat in Fiji. Same goes for eating with chop sticks, I often get comments about how I am the only Western person in the room and also usually the only one using chop sticks.

Class. So much to say. There were 15 people in my first class. There is a small cluster of people aged 30-ish (I consider myself part of this cohort) and then another group in the later 40s to 50s and rounding us off there was one sweet man who was retired and could school us all with his knowledge of Sutras. The class was a week long intensive course, starting at 9am and getting off at 5pm with a break for lunch. I learned 2 things: that most of what I had thought of to be “Buddhist” was wrong and that the more I understood the more mysteries there were to resolve. Before the course we were assigned with writing a one page response to a pre-class reading and I foolishly tried to argue that Buddhism refrains from mysticism and it is a rational religion that would not allow for a thing like Immaculate Conception into it’s teachings only to find out that Buddha was reportedly conceive when a small elephant walked into his mother’s right rib cage. My paper got a C. I also didn't do a great job on my citation. One thing that I really appreciated about the Intro to Buddhism class is that we did, just like the Buddha prescribed, practice as well as learn. So each day included a 10 to 30 minute mediation. The Triple Gem is the idea that the Buddha, the teachings (Dharma) and the monks and nuns doing the practice (Sangha) are the way to enlightenment. Thus, we must not only learn and discover, we must also practice these things through meditation. Lot’s more to say about this topic, but I will give it a rest for now. 

Explorations have been limited because I was studying. I did go up to Sydney for a few days and saw the famous Opera House and looked out at the Ocean from Shadi’s Manly Beach apartment! The weather has been pretty cold though, I now know why they make UGGS here! It was so cold in fact that I jetted off to warm up in Fiji. I wanted to get my PADI license because the perk of being in Australia is that it is so close to all of these exotic destination for diving! The diving experience was more challenging than I thought and I loathe taking my mask off 30ft below the surface. The cool part is that once I got over water jetting into my nostrils I saw a shark on my very first dive! A pretty big one about 20 ft away, just chillin. The good thing about Fiji is that since the sea life is so abundant the sharks have plenty of fish to feed on and so they don't go for humans. They called them tame sharks. I also saw a large sea turtle swimming along and it came up to us to give us a "Good'ay mate".

That's it for now. 

Namaste.

Day 6- 6 word story

Inspired by Hemingway's poem:

For sale; baby shoes, never worn.

I came up with this:

Mug shots soon replaced yearbook pictures.




 

Poem Day 2

Brick and mortar

Stick and stone

Clay and rock

Blood and bone

 

Why spend time to build

Prepare and fret

For things that haven’t

Happened yet?

Poem Day 1

In an effort to be more creative I'm going to try and write more this year. Here we go.

Her branches extend towards the sea
the wind does not forget
in every hour there are times
that haven't happened yet

The mist erupts in vibrant color
Spoils of passing tides
her branches struggle onward
right before his eyes

Torn between the waiting
and what was done before
her branches dip into the sea
For they can grow no more

It LOOKS like a Ukrainian duck, it WALKS like a Ukrainian duck but it doesn't TALK like a Ukrainian duck

You say "Goodbye" I say a word that sort of sounds like "Hello" but my accent tells you I'm probably not from around these parts was never a Beatles' hit, but it is the story of my life in Kiev. Much more here, than in my hometown of Lviv, it is as if every time I open my mouth a banner illuminates my forehead reading "banyak" which is a not so friendly word to describe those Ukrainians who have left the mother-country and thus developed different language patterns. Though this is a truth about me, it was not a pleasant revelation and I have spent the last 24-48 hours coming to terms with this fact. Here is my rant:

During my stay I have been called out on not being "from here", mostly by restaurant staff, on several distinct occasions. Once, the waiter after hearing my accent ridden Ukrainian, simply switched to English. Another girl, after taking my order without a hint of suspicion proceeded to ask later if I was going to be paying in "cash or credit" in English, as if I had not made attempts to use the local language.

Today, things got better. I ordered a beer and the young lad asked if I was from Kiev. I said no. He proceeded to tell me how pure my Ukrainian was and how he figured I was from the western sphere of the country. After a short discussion and the revelation that I had come all the way from America he jokingly said that he could not detect any Arizona-ish influence on my Ukrainian at all.

Though sometimes I do feel like I just bust out of a time capsule that makes me articulate more like an antique from yesterday year rather than a properly modernized slang slinging young lady and I can understand how that coupled with near Ukrainian speaking isolation has turned out a person who walks and looks like one of Ukraine's own, but as soon as I begin speaking ears strain to understand me. I am coming to terms with this.

I feel like I give it a solid go at speaking Ukrainian. Whatever accent or annotation oddness I throw down in my speech is not a shameful sign. Even though I no longer reside on the soil I was born on I continue to speak my mother tongue and most importantly come back with a desire to practice and improve my grasp of the language.

Furthermore, since when is diversity bad? Since when does an accent make one less appealing? Has anyone heard of British people? They are basically riding that accent train from dry humor boring town to conversation glory. Indisputably, their adorable accent is the engine on that locomotive.

But back to this semi-heart broken semi-Ukrainian girl… I was seriously saddened by the strange looks and language switching when I tried to speak Ukrainian. But each day is a new chapter and each interaction is a new beginning so today instead of shying away and switching to English when it was obvious that I was not a Kiev native I held on to the Ukrainian that I can deliver and used it to converse with several waiters. Never having to switch languages and their curiosity rather than disdain for the way I speak made it a very pleasant instead of uncomfortable experience.

The feeling of being understood, validated and accepted transcends any language and I really appreciate being treated like a unique rather than odd member of the Ukrainian speaking population.

Back from the abyss

OH MY GOD. It has been a disgustingly long time since I have written. I cannot begin to unravel the memories and experiences that I have had in the past 2 and a half months, it would be unlike pulling a string of yarn from a sweater until the knitting is left on a floor as a grim reminder of it's former shapely form. My memories of the past two months have woven themselves into a comfortable, thought not overly attractive sweater, and I just want to fold the sweater up and put it on a high shelf, just out of reach. (Too much sweater talk? I agree) But I do want to share some highlights...there have been so many times that I had a great post idea but no time to write it, so here is a list in a somewhat chronological order: 1. so much work! ahhh 2. I went to a beach, yay! But it rained- boo. 3. More work, wow, who would have thought? 4. London!!! 5. Gah, back to work. 6. Going to observe training, my work in action, kind of exciting...sad to see the street boys of Nakuru 7. Back at the office, pressure, stress! 8. Brittney is back, lets go on a tour of Kenya!! So much fun. 9. Olenka gets a weave. Exotic. 10. Back from training, in the office, hurry hurry finish! 11. Today- everything is done...amazing. I got to see the beautiful side of Kenya. It is a green wonderland. The towns look a lot alike. The matatus were pretty nice, though our last leg was a bit of a hassle. It does not, by any means feel like Christmas. I think in recent years the holiday has lost some meaning for me, but I do miss friends and family. We had a lovely party at my bosses house that included White Elephant gifts, I gave away leftover parts of my weave and got a stack of africa books on top of a pretty woven basket. I stuffed myself on cookies and brownies and a lot of wine. In other breaking news---Training is over, the most stressful few months have come to an end, new school managers will be leading their own academies in January. Unreal. After all the effort, the pressure, stress and deadlines I am exhausted and sleepy and cannot wait to spend some time basking in the sun tomorrow. Peace and love Olenka

My life right now.

Well, as I begin writing it is 9:20 pm on a Friday. I just worked from home for at least 12 hours straight. I even ate brreakfast and lunch at my desk like a good woker bee. I finished 6 hour long powerpoint presentations as well as an assessment and answer key. I feel good about my progress today. I have also allowed myself two rather full glasses of wine. I made myself a delicious and somewhat healthy dinner and I have eaten two heaping helpings. I also feel a little bit like I did the first year of TFA. Somewhat lost in a cloud of doubt about my ability to actually do this. I know what I am good at, taking notes- studying said notes and regurgitating them on paper. Thats why I loved college. It was easy. Nothing was actually applied to the real world. It is pretty scary when the CEO of the company you work for turns to you in a meeting and asks you a question and whatever you answer will change the policy. Thats a lot of power I never realized how much weight a word could have. I like the idea of being able to change the world but at 24 I dont know if I have enough knowledge/experience for a mere utterance of mine to do much good, much less change policy, schedules, training modules and the like. This job that I currently hold is taking me back to the years that I would rather soon forget. A time of internal turmoil, disspointment and a feeling like I want not good. NOT that I wasn't the best at something, but that I was not even GOOD at something. I wish to feel the same level of confidence in my abilites when I was first stepping into the Fulbright program. I was too cocky but at least I knew that wherever they put me and whatever they had me teach I could do, and do it well. I have gone from swimming laps in Korea to barely keeping myself from drowning in Kenya. After almost 2 months of being in hereI feel like I understand....it. I have met some really cool people at my workplace and they stop by to say hello to me each day, even though I rarely return the favor. I have found the people here to have a lot of flavor, a lot of zest and spark and I really like my Kenyan co-workers though I really wonder why they try to befriend a deer in the headlights girl who is furiously typing away at her computer trying to meet impossibly set deadlines. As the rush of deadlines comes and goes and I do not die from the long night or work and the stress of constant changes to the forms that I attempt to make sense out of I am comforted by a few things. First, just like with the TFA nightmare I know that this too shall pass. One day I will look back and think- WHY oh WHY did I think making 12 powerpoints to train new school managers on forms that change as often as my underware (daily, thank you very much) in a span of 2 days was a big deal. Second, I will realize that the impact I made over the course of my stay was greater than the sacrifice of staying in a few weekends and having to tell my boyfriend that he should not come up to see me on the weekend. OH yeah, amazing as it is, I actually am managing to keep a somewhat decent relationship in the works as well. He is british, a captain in the army and 6 ft 2in tall. I have plans to visit him in 4 short weeks and that is the light at the end of my deadlines tunnel. IN short- Life is harder than it was before, but not the hardest it has ever been. I am grateful for every second. Sincerely Olenka

3 weeks down, 43 to go!

Warp speed.
This is the only way to describe the pace at which Kenya is passing me by.
Today was the first day working in the new office. The place is much better than our original one and I bet it is just going to get better as they continue to make it look less like a hundred desks bunched together and more like a respectable business establishment. But there is something to be said about sitting across from your boss. It certainly makes me less likely to slack off and I can see how hard she works and how much she knows. I want to be her when I grow up. It's not like I would want to slack off either. There are so many things to do each day, so many meetings to attend and so many documents, powerpoints and videos to make but I feel like there is something to be said about the rush (sense of urgency- thanks TFA) that the company is driven by. Take for example our move. We started packing up exactly at 3pm on Friday and though this morning the place was far from perfect I had my laptop and was ready to work at 8 am. We even managed to squeeze in a pump-up/thank you session with our CEO who showed us how much the company has grown since its humble beginnings in a tourist office backroom.Even with the delicious Samosas that were part of our celebratory meal we were not off task for more than 30 minutes. Then, it was back to work, meetings, documents and improvements. A lovely thing to celebrate.

Although it may seem that most of my waking hours are spent trying to wrap my head around the School Manager training I do get to have a little rest and relaxation. Each weekend has been packed with delightful experiences. This Saturday I went to the Elephant Orphanage. This is a place where baby elephants all across Kenya are taken after being rescued and then they stay there for a number of years, always being attended to by their human foster dads that even sleep with them each night. After 3 or so years the elephants are taken to an area on the national reserve and a 5 year process of getting adopted by one of the elephant groups begins. It was very cute to see the elephants being fed with giant baby bottles and downing liters of formula in 18 seconds flat. The older set of elephants were quite playful and a little feisty. Though the highlight of the time was definitely when a 3 year old little kid got away from his parents and ran under the ropes to try and touch one of the elephants. The dad caught him just in time! One baby elephants got too friendly and passed the ropes the other way, playfully headbutting a few in the crowd.

Next, we went off to the St. Paul's Children's home where I played, chatted and chilled with some of the my favorite kids. One in particular put it upon himself to teach me some Kiswahili. Another great part to the day was when I bonded with a boy who had been raised by baboons for the first 4 years of his life. I was braiding yarn with some of the girls to make bracelets and he came over to give me the highly sought after- yet illusive- high five. Then, he sat down and engaged me by pulling on the yarn, SO I attempted, with the help of some other kids translating in swahili to teach him how to braid. It wasn't the most successful venture but it kept him occupied for at least 30 minutes and he was grinning at the tricky string and he tried to follow my instructions. Basically it was a huge success.

That night we went out. And it was awesome. I regained my awesome status by staying out till the wee hours of the morning and then getting up to go see some giraffes. That place was the first one that seemed a little too touristy for me because it was a tiny place and you had to pay 800 shillings (like $8.50) to pet some giraffes. It was quite serene and nice. I did have the pleasure of hugging the head of a giant giraffe but I was ready to go after about 7 minutes in the place, so though both of my animal adventures were a good time, neither was so amazing that I will be running back anytime soon.

I also finally got my room together a little bit more and read the instructions on my pepper spray. On Friday we found out that two people who were carpooling from work were held up at gunpoint on their way home. Luckily no one was hurt but it did remind me (especially since it was the same road I take home every day) that bad things can happen to good and careful people and even thought I have just started to feel more comfortable with my commute to work and walking around. It is sad how one moment you can feel very safe and in an instant information can make you feel uncomfortable and mistrusting of others. Really sad actually. I was walking home one day carrying 3 bags of groceries and obviously struggling after a 30 minute hike home. One man came up and offered to help me carry them and automatically I gave him a very blank stare and asked him to leave me alone. I was not happy with my behavior and decided that next time something like that happened I would first use a more polite way to avert unwanted attention but the fact that in a few short weeks I had become so hardened to approaches from strangers (who in Korea brought nothing but amusement when they attempted interactions). I hate to leave this post on this unpleasant note but I just want to say that I am fine and have a relatively worry free life and in a weird sense I appreciate the reminders that even though the illusion of safety can sometimes appear because of an array of positive interactions with locals it is still a dangerous place and it has to be treated as such.

That being said, Wednesday is a holiday and a Kenyan from my work is taking me to the Ngong hills where one must hire a guide with a gun for safety. Stay tuned...this is going to be good!

I havent died, I've just gone off to AFRICA.

I feel like it has been ages since I have had the time to write anything. I am super busy here and it feels like I am always running out of time.

It may be that I spend the last year vacationing in Korea that I feel a certain surprise that my job now requires me to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, walk to town in darkness and get on a matatu by 6:30, arrive by 7 and bold out the door the second the clock strikes 4pm so I can get home around 5 pm. I realize that most people do this anyway but Korea really threw off my work ethic because life was just so darn easy there!

Next, fun things:

1. I moved into a house. It is a pretty sweet getup. I live with an expat from the UK and his 21 year old daughter. The place is across the street from the Ethiopian Embassy and the American U.N. memebers are also housed here. We also have a pool. It's ultra safe and we even have guard dogs patrolling at night. I have to fight the urge to pet them. The dogs, not the people from the UK silly!

2. Last weekend was badass. I hung out with orphans on a way cool children's day on Satuday and drove around a stunningly beautiful area near the game park reserve on the back of a motorcycle. Some antelopes/impalas/deerlike things ran across our path and I had a little bit of an "out of africa" moment.

3. I also went to this insane glass factory. The fact that this place exists in the middle of a beautiful desert and you have to cross an indiana jones style hanging bridge is enough to blow your mind. But let me give you another hit of awesome- the prices for slightly misshapen objects are dirt cheap and I got to see them make a wine glass from scratch then bought a few of it's brothers and sisters for pennies (about 100 pennies each!)wow! That day was awesome.

4. My job. Oh right, I gotta make some money while I am here and I think I have finally started to get into a groove here. The office is run so well and I am inspired by the hard work that the people around me put in. They are awesome and I want to be them when I grow up. I am talking mostly about my HOD who is incredible and I am learning so much from merely being in her presence.

5. The vegetables and fruit here are super cheap and taste amazing. WIN. Also, I found tofu. If only I can get a gym membership to a place close to here I am going to be a very happy camper for the duration of my stay.

peace out yo!
asante sana for reading!

Kenya- Beautiful on the Inside

So
I have been here for almost a week and I feel like I can make a fair judgment of my current home city of Nairobi. I'll be frank. When I was driven to my hotel from the airport I was thinking to myself- what the f*** have I gotten myself into?

I just gave up a nice cozy life in Korea to come to this industry laden dust land with not a tree in sight. There were people, hundreds of people, migrating next to the road, a sight that was quite shocking because as opposed to the 4 ft ajumas that lined the streets of Daegu most of these people were 6ft tall and able bodied men. The ditches next to the road look like they could swallow you whole if you misplace your footing and the cow manure is a nice touch of texture and smell that will forever plague your shoe.

The hotel though was nice, my room has a fully functioning bathroom with hot water and I have always dreamed of having a mosquito net hanging over my bed ever since I spotted some many years back at IKEA so here’s to childhood wishes coming true.

Next, when I arose at the ungodly hour of 4 am thanks to jetlag I was able to indulge myself in a few hours of Kindle before heading to breakfast at 6 am where I dined on boiled eggs and toast with a few of my colleagues. I did not expect that the next 20 minutes would entail crossing the highway by running before oncoming traffic got to us, flagging down a van crammed with strangers that was going in our direction, jumping in and then paying a man a few shillings. Then after about 10 minutes on the matatu I was to be dropped off once again on the side of the road and run for my life before a semi made me into a pancake across 6 lanes of highway. Both in theory and in practice this approach of getting to work is ridiculous.

Though, I have to say now that I have ridden the matatu everyday for a week I come to realize that the other passengers are also hard working citizens on their way to work and that the matatus have certain routes that they take that actually makes them somewhat predictable.

I have also found that no matter how grungy, dilapidated and insanely dusty the outside of something is, the inside is undoubtedly going to exceed your expectation on cleanliness, atmosphere and service. This is why I think of Kenya as a book that you cannot judge by the cover. You cannot even judge it by the smell, because there is a certain oily, musky, dusty essence to most things and people here. You can only judge by the insides. The insides of matatus are clean compared to the dented and chipped paint exterior that they sport. The insides of mall and restaurants are right up there with an American Starbucks. The most important insides though, as those of the people that I have met in Kenya. There is something of a parental nature that I have felt from the people who I interact with. Anyone from the workers at my job to the man who guards my hotel and keeps me safe at night is welcoming and always ready for a conversation. Not so much a conversation as an exchange of stories. Also to be noted is that the tones most people speak with are the same as those used when telling a lullaby. So as this story of Kenya unfolds, told by the mother tongues of the people who I interact with and kindly translated for my inept ears I come to think of Kenya as a book that needs to be read for the quality and beauty of the content and not so much the illustrations on the cover.

From America with Love

So the past few weeks have been a blur. Camp Fulbright came and went and I realized that I was not only teaching students but I was PROBABLY interacting with future CEOs, doctors, policy makers and possibly even actors. The quality of character, drive and cuteness that these kids possessed was the icing on the very delicious cake that was my year in Korea. I am so happy to look back on the memories of the camp and relish in the amazing moments that I shared with my students.

I knew that my stay in the states would be rushed and I knew I would have to work really hard to fit in everyone that I needed/wanted to see, but somehow, I made it happen. I had dates every day of the week to catch up with friends over food that had been inaccessible to me for the past year. If not inaccessible then just not having the right flavors or textures and I was so so SO happy to dunk some thick fries into a tub of thick ranch. Seeing my family was lovely and I realized how long it had been since we were a unit of 4. One of the best parts about coming home was the home itself. Projects on the house that my dad has just been starting when I left had come to completion and I had forgotten how decorated my house is with the artwork that my brother and I have created over the years. We are certainly not artists but our house is clad in a nice array of paintings, photos and trinkets that we have either made or collected over the years. Walking into my house is a visual sensation that jars memories and pours me over with a feeling of nostalgia. We sat at the dinner table the night I came home and over wine and delicious salmon chatted about life as if a year had not passed since our previous meal together. Afterward, I passed out presents and was able to make everyone happy with my gifts, I think even my impossible to shop for brother was amused by the trinkets that he got. It was a great homecoming indeed, starting with beautiful white roses and signs in Korean that I could not decipher and ending with a walk around the neighborhood with my dog.

The next few days were spent visiting with friends. I loved being able to catch up on life and was almost surprised at how effortlessly the conversations flowed given that some people I had not had much contact with for the past year. That just goes to show you how great my friends really are since the passage of time had no way of undermining the quality of our relationship. I had brought trinkets from Korea, either misspelled English or simply cutesy key chains that never failed to amuse. I also had several phone dates with people when our schedules could not mix. The last day was the hardest goodbye because my flight was less than 18 hours away and I was seeing my great friends for the first and final time. This quick trip to the states was much needed and it feels a little bit like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HrhsZ2kTqo

Another sleepless night due to jetlag and in 6 hours I will be on my way to my 3rd continent in 5 days.

peace and love

Ravioli: My new favorite Breakfast

WELL, I wouldn't say FAVORITE. I wouldn't say healthy, or usual or rational or at all adivsed by any nutritionist. BUT, it is what I eat. I guess I set myself up for it too. When I moved into my second homestay I was able to make more choices about what I consumed. They asked for a list of foods ahead of time and since I was a vegetarian they were really curious to learn about it. We made an initial trip to Costco and I was told to go crazy and pack the cart with everything that I would eat. Ravioli made it into the cart! And it has made it onto my plate ever since. I only made one more trip with my host family to the magical land where foreign food is somewhat accessible and since I picked out Ravioli the second time as well it pretty much solidified it as a staple food in my Korean diet.

At first, I cooked the ravioli because my host mom was unfamiliar with how to make it but she watched and took diligent notes and was soon whipping them out like a pro. It tastes really good and so I enthusiastically praised her cooking and how delicious they turned out. THAT is probably how the ravioli is endind up on my breakfast plate. First, she cooked it every night of the week and I was eating at home...resulting in me going out more frequently because even though I do love the taste of ravioli, I do not love it every day of the week. Then, it seems like there was a lot of ravioli and only a few times that I was available to eat it for dinner...so it moved on to being an afterschool snack. THEN, the day finally came when it appeared at the breakfast table. Luckily, that is also the time that the giant bag from costco was exhausted and now I was back to a variety of food for breakfast (and dinner).

The phenomenon of my dear host mother giving the in access what I say that I like is also evident in her keeping a stock of roasted almonds on hand! (which is great because I can eat them whenever I want) and the also a pancake like sweet treat that has melted sugar and crushed peanuts on the inside (tastes AWESOME). I had one for snack, praised it, and then eat it for two consecutive days for afterschool snack and breakfast. :) The thing about living with a host family is that even though there are certain things that get to be pretty comfortable (seeing host family memebers in their underwear) telling them you would like to eat something else is not on the table. (get it?) So for the next 4 days (because I know we have a fresh batch of ravioli) I am undoing another button on my pants and consuming ravioli as breakfast, snack and possibly even dinner.

Model Behavior in EDEN

It was a friend’s last night in Korea so we headed off to Seoul on the long 4 hour train and arrived looking for some adventure.

Well, we went to the Ritz and got to experience something different. MODELS. Yes, the club that cost 30,000 to get into stayed true to it’s pricy form. It was packed with great looking Koreans and international models.

First we spotted a girl dancing wildly near a mirror and frowned upon her wayward ways. She did not have a drink in hand, but she was certainly getting a buzz from somewhere. Then, the real fun began, we made some friends, got shots poured into our mouth on the dance floor and were basically having a great time rocking out. Here is the thing, I enjoy a good time at club getting my groove on and I surround myself with people who also know how to balance having a good time while also staying in control. This night I was (for some reason) surprised to learn that not everyone can strike this balance and this is the story of one of the girls…


She was found by a Brazillian model and I guess found is not quite the right word for it, because all the Brazillian model saw was a hand on the floor peaking out from one of the bathroom stalls. I was standing in line for the bathroom behind the Brazillian model and she pointed out the hand to me and Security was in the girls bathroom immediately. They tried knocking on the door with no avail. Then the two guards pried the door open to reveal a passed out model in an ocean of her own puke that had saturated her dress and was drying crisply on her long curly hair. They tried to wake her and were looking around at the now large posse of models who were starring down at her to figure out which groups of friends she belonged to. However, sadly, no one would claim her. They all mumbled- not from my agency, or I’ve never seen her, she must be new and the most heartwrenching one- maybe she is 15. WHAT? The story continues…she had passed out while on the toilet and the men looked around for some girl to pull up her underwear. Again, none of the models offered to help and my friend was left to do the necessary yet unpleasant duty to making this passed out girl decent…while trying to hoover above the puked on floor that she was still sprawled out in. (I was in the bathroom while this took place) The next thing was even more disturbing…the security guards, still hesitant to touch her asked someone to check her pulse!!! WHAT THE F! This poor girl, with clearly no good friends, was on something that made her pass out mid-toilet break and now I was responsible for seeing if she was still alive???? Well, ok. So I checked her pulse by first lifting the heavy veil that was created from the puke and hair combo and feeling on her neck. There was indeed a pulse and so I gave the security guards the all OK! sign. Now with her not exposing genitalia and confirmed alive status the security guards felt it ok to pick her up and carry her out, as they did I questioned them with “hospital?” because it looked like she may need a little medical intervention. They did not reply and just carried her out. The restroom was abuzz for a few minutes after she left, but quickly my conversation with the models turned to whether or not I was a model (oh ladies, please! Do you see me passing out in toilets?) and then when that idea was shot down they asked me if I was an extra for the Olympics? (what the fuck were they smoking…I mean…thanks?) I wish the story ended there and I could assume happily that the girl got the help that she needed. Unfortunately this is not so, as I was leaving the club at 5 am I saw a lump on a couch near the entrance to the club near the coat rack…it was the same girl, still passed out, as if the club owners just expected whoever was responsible for her to grab her as they got their checked purses from the club lockers. Um, hello! When was the last time they checked her pulse? Oh Yeah, that would be me 3 hours ago….

Now this event did not deter me from partying like I usually do, because the way that I usually party ends with me heading out with all my clothes on and my wits intact, even if it happens that I leave the club at 6am. Clearly this is a sign of my oblivion but I thought that everyone partied with the same mindset as me, and just went home early. The models on the other hand continued to get wilder, in one instance a model was allowing one male model to play up her skirt while making out with another dude. In plain sight of everyone. Sickening. This was the first time that I had partied with the beautiful people and most likely the last because their party lifestyle is grounds for a party divorce. Though some were really sweet when I was chatting with them I noticed 3 things about this particular subset of human beings: They are taller than me and have legs that come to my belly button, they all have really really long hair that is free of chemical dye, they are heartless attention whores. The end.

end of an era

Today was my last day with the 6th grade classes, and to be honest, it was pretty much the same as any other class. Why you ask? Don't your students love you? Don't they want to shower you with gifts and letters and take pictures of you? I have a way to answers that:
Yes, they do love me (Im pretty sure...) and I often feel their appreciation for my teaching/ saying words they cannot understand with animated gestures and then having them yell loudly during something I call a "game". But for those who are actually good at English, I am probably less of a novelty and more of just another face of just another foreigner who stays for a year and then leaves. If they are anything like my first homestay sister who had her first native speaker at age 4, I think by the time they hit 12 they must have had at least 8 different native speaker interactions/relationships. I think if I had that many English teachers come for one year and then leave I would eventually grow accustomed to that pattern and not really involve or invest myself as much in our relationship. I do think that some students are fonder or me than others, and this could be for a million reasons but I can sense that the ones who have had more exposure are also more aware of the ending to the relationship. Seeing it through their eyes I can imagine that it is not seen as a worthy way to spend time, investing in someone who will surely vanish in a few months time. I also think frequency has something to do with it. I can remember the bonds that I formed with my "homeroom" teachers when I was in 6th grade, those who saw me every day and taught me math or writing. And following my own logic, it is sad to say that I cannot even remember the name or face of a single art teacher I have ever had.
So as I say goodbye to my lovely 6th graders, who I still run into in the hallways...I think of myself less as a teacher who changed their perspective on English but more of a fresh face that is going away in my due time that simply delivered the same message that the teacher before me did not finish.

And I guess the second reason is that none of the students knew that it was our last class and when the Korean teacher translated what it means they were in an uproar. I had to give a whole class my autograph and another shouted out "Don't go to Africa" as I greeted them. Some students asked for my email and one asked for my phone number, proceeded to call me that day and tell me about the chicken he was eating.

Thus, I think the major difference between the goodbye of the last 6th grade class is this one is still coming back after summer break and I will be gone where as the first class was leaving me behind.
:)

May wouldn't go away, and June is done too soon

Last month I complained about the crawling pace at which time was progressing. I guess someone heard me and decided to switch things up a bit. Thus, June was come and gone in a blink of an eye. Now I get to complain about how fast it is going. Time 1 Olenka 0.

Jay Park... SMH

As I was teaching a group of 9 middle school students a dear friend and kpop enthusiast called me today to tell me about an impromptu Jay Park fan meeting that was going to be happening in Daegu. Thrilled to the bone I eagerly jumped on the subway the second my class was done and header over to meet her at the stage where she graciously saved me a spot near the yellow ropes that separated the commoner from the all mighty VIP section (people who had bought over 100,000 won worth of clothing from a particular store). Sure enough the crowd was a mixture of middle school girls and equally giddy 20 somethings as well as a sprinkling of 40 some year old women who still hoped to capture Jay's heart.
Even as I was riding in the metro I was pondering how such an event is to be perceived, both as the fan and as the person who is holding the fan meeting. My reservations for accepting this even as a legitimate human interaction is that one person is shelling out big bucks to meet another person, touch them, be in their presence. That has to be awkward for both parties involved no? Even if there is a general level of support that the fan wants to give the star why do they pay to meet them, the stars get paid enough I think. And don't the stars feel weird being pimped out, they are basically saying- pay 20 dollars to shake my hand. Not normal, right?
The moral dilemma behind me I was standing inches away from the yellow tape and the minutes were ticking by slowly but surely. A few minutes before 6pm the announcer came on stage and started working the crowd. Luckily my friend's co-teacher was there and able to translate what he was saying. One of the questions was- who traveled the farthest to see Jay? My friend and I screamed that we were from America and in true Korean fashion we were ushered onto the stage, given a free T-shirt and ofcourse had our picture taken. Didn't get a sneak peak at Jay unfortunately.
The crowd went wild when moments later he emerged from the white tent that was surrounded by security. He barely acknowledged the crowd and touched his abs in a way that made it seem like he just ate a huge dinner and needed to loosen his pants. His disinterest in the event and the fans was apparent from the beginning. He didn't smile and seemed like he wanted to be anywhere but there. My friend and I looked at each other several times because we were both sensing that something was off. Jay then sat down and began to sign autographs and bop along to his music. Still, no smile, no appreciation beyond the bare minimal. He was basically avoiding being rude, but thats about it. It wasn't even the large exasperated exhales or the vagrant glances that put me over the edge. The last straw that made me straight up leave the event was when an over-excited fan- in a cute not a creepy way- came over and was clearly having an awesome star-struck moment he gave her a look like - you a crazy person, instead of smiling at her. She was oblivious to the disapproving stare down that he was giving her but I would have to have been blind to miss the grumpy and "over it" look that he gave that poor high school girl (I know this because she was still in her school uniform). It may be argued that he was tired or that he was sick, but if either case was true he would have to be dying of an incurable disease for me to overlook the attitude he was giving his adoring fans. I also wondered if he felt pimped out or uncomfortable with the situation, I am sure living in the lime light isn't easy but no one is holding a gun to his head telling him he needs to represent the brand so he doesn't have to do these fan meets if he really doesn't want to. I couldn't help feeling like he knew that they had paid already so he already had their money and they should just be happy with the Jay Park they were getting. It's easy to fall for the cuteness on youtube videos but when the real deal was in front of me he just didn't deliver on the personality or charisma that sold me in the first place, so if he can turn it on and off so easily it is probably quite an act (read: fake) so points to Jay for being good at turning on the charm when the camera is around.
So as I left I decided that last week's no show at the concert and today's lackluster performance (I mean, come on dude, SMILE!) put an end to my interest in this pop idol.

"I'm so full" (OF MYSELF!!!)



What a happy camper...sucks to have so many people adoring you.

may may go away

This month has been dragging along. Usually May = freedom. No more going to school (both as a teacher and a student) no more stress or worries and lots of fun things to look forward to. This year has been exceptional in many ways, one of which being that I am not free from my obligations until August 1st (and then the freedom lasts a short 4 days...) so I guess the fact that I already packed my bags to leave is me working on my presumption that this month of May will bring me temporary freedom...it is unfortunately not so.

ROK 2.0

Dear Korea
I may be a little irrational because I didn't sleep last night. The pint of icecream I consumed can only be blamed for part of the reason that I didn't get much rest. What kept me awake was the tinging sensation that pulsed through my body as I tried to comprehend the news--I had just accepted a job offer in Kenya. I know, I know, your little world is spinning right now. What? How? Where did all this come from? And you are right, you deserve an explanation. Here goes... We had been getting along so well, I love and appreciate everything that you have offered me but this new temptress, Nairobi, has me hooked and I cannot deny my lust for her. She seduced me with an opportunity to train teachers and write curriculum, the need for a Masai warrior bodyguard is only an added bonus that heightens the thrill factor for when we get together. I get to help thousands of slum children gain literacy and open their world with the power of education. You know that this is what my wet dreams are made of. So I will leave you in August, with a heavy heart of course but knowing that I have lived to my fullest here and the time is right to move on.
That's not to say that I will not miss you. There will be many mornings where I will yearn for the spicy taste of kimchi on top of my eggs, but it will not be nearly packed away in a giant tupperware in a separate fridge. Nor will there be a tetris game of "where do I put the tupperware" when I attempt to retrieve myself a snack after school. I do solemnly swear that I will continue to use chopsticks when I eat my meals, life is just more fun that way. I will also miss getting things from students with both of their hands extended, even if the object is a pinky nail sized eraser, two hands will be used. I will miss their cheerful hellos and immediate burst of laughter. I will miss the people that Korea has brought into my life that for no reason outside their own kindness have made my time here so pleasant. Oh, and I will miss the bromancing boys holding hands in the halls of guiding each other lovingly out of my classroom. I will probably cry when my catchphrase-"Good Morning Class", does not yield a return of "Good Morning Ms.Lenets" along with a laser beam of smiles that easily eradicates negativity from my body. Oh Korea, you have been a fine mistress. Your bitterness in winter was complimented well by your summertime heats of passion and never again will I see a club full of 20 somethings in stellagmite heels dancing away in near choreographed unison to Panamaricano. You will find a new English teacher to fill the gap that I leave behind, but lets think of this as not a goodbye but a see you later, because destiny-willing I hope to cradle a Korean youngster as part of my own brood someday.
Forever grateful of your boundless love
Olenka
p.s. do you think it's a coincidence that I am moving from one ROK to another? The wise old turtle from the Kungfu Panda movie says "There are no mistakes, there are no coincidences!"